Postpartum body image

I sat in the doctor’s office asking her to confirm if the lines on my stomach were in

fact stretch marks. She answered in the affirmative, assuring me that they would

fade after I had my baby. I responded telling her, “Well I guess with each pregnancy

you let little pieces of your vanity go.” I said this without really meaning it. I wasn’t

ready to surrender my vanity, and I’m still not.

Little did I know that when my pregnancy with my second child was over, a few tiny

little stretch marks were the LEAST of my worries. While my first pregnancy altered

my body, my second pregnancy irreversibly changed it.

Now, my stomach ripples and wrinkles when I suck in or flex my abdominal

muscles. Now, I have a muffin top of excess stomach skin when sitting. I don’t like

that no amount of crunches will ever undo these things. I also don’t like that I’m not

easily accepting these things.

Are some people reading this saying – “that’s a skinny girl’s problem.”? Probably. Do

I feel guilty for feeling this way because I know how blessed I am to have my health,

a healthy husband and two healthy children? YES!

Do I love my two babies any less? No. Does it mean I would trade them in for a

perfect body? Absolutely not. Do I think all women should look like their pre-kid

selves after having kids? No.

Giving voice to the fact that I’m struggling with a superficial issue is not easy. And

while I know that beauty comes from the inside, this is not a truth that erases my

struggle.

I know I’m not alone.

I know I will arrive at self-acceptance someday, and I look forward to that day. I’m

just not there yet.

-anonymous

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